(Love ( Respect ( Mutual Respect ( Express))))

Dear Mishi

Paper showing days in school were always stressful. Your appapan and ammama would come to school that day on a scooter, with me standing in front with my head hung; majorly due to fear and shame, but also so as not to obstruct appapa's view while riding. Some of my friends had better marks; some, better marks AND better cars! And if this was not enough, a walk of shame followed where ammama and I walked from Loyola to Valinath Chowk, and took a chakda (shuttle rickshaw) to go home!  I was embarrassed. Growing up, we all had our insecurities and I always thought my parents never understood me. Please don't get me wrong. I loved them, and I still do, but there was something missing.

Fast forward to 2016 as I entered the corporate world. 

And with that, entered the emotion of Respect for them. And when I say respect, I do not mean touching their feet or being scared of them and staying mum. It is the genuine respect that flows when you gradually start entering into their shoes. Appapan ammama had the audacity to leave their families in Kerala, come to the unknown land of Gujarat, get respectable government jobs, raise a family and manage everything under the sun. Neither did they follow the inspirational quotes page on Instagram nor had the luxury to take a day off...but they still persevered; through the scooters and chakdas. And a lot of parents in that generation have endured this kind of pain. The struggle is not new, but you respecting it as a child, comes with time. 

So then, what makes your appapan ammama special? It is over the last few years that I realized that this respect that I spoke about, was Mutual. They respect us. And by respect, I don't mean they say Yes to whatever we ask, but we are given a platform to at least share our thoughts. We do have our arguments and disagreements, but then it also makes you feel like a member of the family. I have seen so many of my friends struggling with this. I don't mean to sound preachy, but I believe it is our duty as children to earn the respect of our parents, and the duty of parents to respect them. And it is this mutual respect that makes us feel special.  

Phew...I spoke about Love, Respect & Mutual Respect. And the last gyaan that I want to add is to make sure we Express these emotions. We, as Mallus, simbly do not know how to express feelings. And even if we do, do not express it often. So, here it goes... 

Today, as they celebrate 34 years of togetherness, I am proud to be their son, and you should be proud to have such a cool appapan, ammama (and mama)! Your appapan is a personification of Urban Company donning roles of a plumber, electrician, mason, carpenter, farmer, lizard killer to name a few. On the other hand, no MBA can teach you management better than your ammama. People who have met them, know how much love they have to offer; may it be through the conversations or the food or merely their company. I just pray that they remain the way they are and be examples to so many families around. Hope you have loads of fun with them and make amazing memories to cherish for a lifetime. 

Love

Jenson Mama.