(Love ( Respect ( Mutual Respect ( Express))))

Dear Mishi

Paper showing days in school were always stressful. Your appapan and ammama would come to school that day on a scooter, with me standing in front with my head hung; majorly due to fear and shame, but also so as not to obstruct appapa's view while riding. Some of my friends had better marks; some, better marks AND better cars! And if this was not enough, a walk of shame followed where ammama and I walked from Loyola to Valinath Chowk, and took a chakda (shuttle rickshaw) to go home!  I was embarrassed. Growing up, we all had our insecurities and I always thought my parents never understood me. Please don't get me wrong. I loved them, and I still do, but there was something missing.

Fast forward to 2016 as I entered the corporate world. 

And with that, entered the emotion of Respect for them. And when I say respect, I do not mean touching their feet or being scared of them and staying mum. It is the genuine respect that flows when you gradually start entering into their shoes. Appapan ammama had the audacity to leave their families in Kerala, come to the unknown land of Gujarat, get respectable government jobs, raise a family and manage everything under the sun. Neither did they follow the inspirational quotes page on Instagram nor had the luxury to take a day off...but they still persevered; through the scooters and chakdas. And a lot of parents in that generation have endured this kind of pain. The struggle is not new, but you respecting it as a child, comes with time. 

So then, what makes your appapan ammama special? It is over the last few years that I realized that this respect that I spoke about, was Mutual. They respect us. And by respect, I don't mean they say Yes to whatever we ask, but we are given a platform to at least share our thoughts. We do have our arguments and disagreements, but then it also makes you feel like a member of the family. I have seen so many of my friends struggling with this. I don't mean to sound preachy, but I believe it is our duty as children to earn the respect of our parents, and the duty of parents to respect them. And it is this mutual respect that makes us feel special.  

Phew...I spoke about Love, Respect & Mutual Respect. And the last gyaan that I want to add is to make sure we Express these emotions. We, as Mallus, simbly do not know how to express feelings. And even if we do, do not express it often. So, here it goes... 

Today, as they celebrate 34 years of togetherness, I am proud to be their son, and you should be proud to have such a cool appapan, ammama (and mama)! Your appapan is a personification of Urban Company donning roles of a plumber, electrician, mason, carpenter, farmer, lizard killer to name a few. On the other hand, no MBA can teach you management better than your ammama. People who have met them, know how much love they have to offer; may it be through the conversations or the food or merely their company. I just pray that they remain the way they are and be examples to so many families around. Hope you have loads of fun with them and make amazing memories to cherish for a lifetime. 

Love

Jenson Mama.

Thoda Smile Karo Na!

Dear Mishi

It's been a long time. It's also been a tough time. And tough times like these, push you to think...and sometimes, write. I understand that you are worried too; why is amma not going to office? Why are the evening walks with apappan not happening? Why don't you get to meet your friends at school? Why is no one waking you up early in the morning and getting you ready? Okay, maybe you are not worried for that last one! But something does seem off place. And you are right, Mishi.

1:20 pm used to be the most awaited moment of the day when I was in school as the final bell rang and we ran towards our van. Now, there were some lucky days, where the teacher would ask us to pack our bags at 1:10 and told us that IF WE ALL kept quiet, then she would leave us early. I remember how I used to be in the best of my behaviour with finger on my lips. Even if my best friend wanted to talk to me about buying chanachor garam after school, I used to give him the "Chup-baithna-tu-sabko-marvayega" look. Right now, we are at that 1:10 in our lives. We need to be obedient. We need to make sure that our friends are obedient. We need to control our urge to screw up. And every student in the class has to realize this. But the sad part is, sometimes there is that one kid in the other corner, who screws up. Maybe to the extent that the teacher asks him to get his diary, writes a remark, scolds him and eventually leaves us at 1:25.
Moral of the story?
1. ALL of us need to be at our best behaviour.
2. It WILL end, sooner or later.

It is upto us collectively, if we want this to end at 1:15 or 1:20 or 1:25. Having said that, it will surely end and we will return to normalcy, like we always have. Yes, there will be losses during the journey and the longer it takes to end, higher the number of losses. But this letter is not about the losses, it is about the wins. So, when you tell this tale to your kids one day, do not miss out on the good parts. When you raise that glass of wine to raise a toast, do not forget that this was also a time of love and kindness and compassion and hope. Cheers!

#1. Cheers to Equality! This phase made us realize that we are all equal; created from the same mud. A tiny virus, invisible to our eye, taught us humility; irrespective of the colour of our skin, our bhakt-ness quotient or our bank balances.
#2. Cheers to our Health! In January, I used to judge people wearing masks. Fattu saale! Now I can write a book on the difference between N95 and N99 masks. Even though induced by fear, we have started taking genuine care of our body and mind. Let's try and continue to do so.
#3. Cheers to Planet Earth! It is high time we took care of our planet. We need to constantly remind ourselves how beautiful it is, and not wait for dolphins to appear at Marine drive to tell us Thamba and pause to cherish the beauty around us.
#4. Cheers to Technology! The only thing that is keeping us sane now, is the internet. Imagine a lockdown without the Insta stories, without the TikTok challenges, without the group video calls on Whatsapp and Zoom, without Netflix! Be grateful.
#5. Cheers to Relationships! And Netflix is possible because of that friend of yours jiske credential se tum Stranger Things dekh rahe ho. But strangely enough, you didn't even know that she has shifted cities and she is depressed. We are on a call with friends, but honestly have very few topics to talk about. And that is because we have grown far. Let's come closer; to our parents, siblings, friends, relatives, colleagues and neighbours.

We can dwell on this further and find more reasons to smile. And I am sure that when the bell rings, we will run towards our van as better human beings, healthier human beings, kinder inhabitants of this plant Earth and with our very own list of top 25 movies on Netflix/Prime/Hotstar! Stay safe Mishi baby. Have fun and eat loads of chakka, maanga and kappa! Keep Smiling!

Love,
Mama.

PS. I so very much wish that we were together in Bangalore, fighting to decide between Peppa Pig and Money Heist P4. But maybe, it is all for good. See you soon. Ummah :*

Chand Nazar (Na) Aaya

Dear Mishi

I am sitting at a coffee shop staring at the sky to locate the moon. And a lot of things are at stake. It is today that I understand the importance of this celestial marvel.

So this is the scene. 

You know that I work at Whirlpool Appliances in the sales function. Now, the prices of the products are increasing from tomorrow and because of this rise, one of my biggest dealer has given me a huge order that needs to be billed at the old price. But, the dealer celebrates Eid and his warehouse will be closed on the day of Eid. And Eid is determined based on the visibility of the moon. If I bill the products today, then it has to be delivered tomorrow as the company policy doesn’t allow me to bill, but not deliver. If I bill it tomorrow, then it will be at a higher price and I will lose the order. And I need to confirm it to my CFA, whether to bill the product or not. The wait is on. The ideal situation is that Eid falls day after tomorrow and I get to know about it soon, so that I can bill it today and deliver it tomorrow. It all depends on the moon now. 

In our day to day lives, we have taken these small things for granted. And it takes an incident like this for us to understand its importance. As we have grown old, we have forgotten these elements that once were an important aspect of our lives. 

Moral of the story, don’t grow up and keep finding the choti choti baton me badi badi kushiyan!

Eid Mubarak (hopefully,in advance)

Regards

Mamu Jaan

Sachavjo Amdavad...Aavjo Amdavad

Dear Mishi

Bangalore is a fancy city with a lot of Mallus and an amazing weather. Ahmedabad, on the other hand, has many lassan pyaaz eating Jains and cruel summers. 

Bangalore has multiple options for freshly brewed beer. Ahmedabad offers you Fruit Beer with Chat Masala for 10 bucks. 

When you tell someone that you are from Ahmedabad, the first thing that they’ll tell you that your dal is sweet. Yes, the dal is sweet, but so are the people. And trust your mama and amma on this. 

So, today as your appapan ammama leave that city after spending 35 long years, here are 7 reasons why and how Ahmedabad is an experience that has moulded many souls around you.

St. Xaviers Loyola

With Fr. Charlie during the Annual Day at the then New
 auditorium which has now become the Old Auditorium

Loyola wasn’t just a school. And I am sure many Xavierites would agree to this. We learnt to sell during the Bal Din mela, we learnt to synchronize music with lights during Odyssey, we learnt to fall on the football ground, we learnt to get up on the football ground, we learnt to talk to pretty girls in the corridors of 11D, we learnt improvisation at the Hat speech competitions during leadership camps. And now when I see parents spending on personality development classes and other fancy stuff, I just have a smile on my face. The same smile that a Gujju bujinessman has, when he saves loads of money in his dhandha. And there have been many people who have made this journey so memorable; but it would be unfair not to talk about Fr. Charlie. He might not be sitting on his chair with his box of Eclairs, but the legacy remains in each and every corner of Loyola. Loyola Ooh, Loyola Aah, Loyola OohLaLa!

Radio Mirchi

The only picture I have with him and don't miss
 the MS Paint editing skills

People in Bangalore listen to Radio because most of the time they are struck in traffic. People in Ahmedabad listen to Radio because of Dhvanit. And I had the opportunity to work with him and the wonderful team at Mirchi Ahmedabad...Nirali, Nehal, Mitai, Anshuman, Darshan, Pota, Chirag bhai, Parth. Obviously, it did give me a flavour of how the chapter named “Job” is going to unfold; but more importantly, I got to learn about Ahmedabad (especially during the Hello Amdavad to Hi Amdavad transition) and the little things that make it what it is...The Bachchan Soda guy in Shahibaug, the toilet cafe, the D Gang and talking in Gujarati on air, preparing the question bank for Mango ya Thengo, Pani no Parab and the Haaaash at the end of the spot, my secret admirer aunty and the ever blinking phone in the telos room. Mirchi will always be an experience close to my heart. 

RJ Tibrewal

One of the very few pictures that were taken inside the college

I have to admit that I have spent more time in the parking lot of the college than in the classroom. And I don’t regret it a bit. I have had some amazing memories at Ravi Jagdishbhai Tibrewal Commerce College; the magazine committee, the corporate training with Surabhi ma’am, the movie review, the mamra-poha-cheese cube breakfast and the n number of vada pavs at Shri Ji Krupa. But most importantly, for giving me Harshit uncle as a friend. You are yet to meet him, because he says he is “studying” in Australia. Though, I highly doubt it and I am sure he still asks stupid questions! :P Also, we have a college magazine named AKS and Jacob bhaiya has been the editor of the same since the beginning of time!

Endeavor

The Standard H05 picture

My second college life in Ahmedabad. This is where I did my CAT coaching. CAT is an entrance exam to get into a “decent” college to do an MBA. This degree helps you to flaunt your CTCs. It also helps you to realize that sab moh maaya hai and in hand sabka mota mota same hai. (Will elaborate on this once you join college.)

For now, remember that this place is legendary and the people from this place are warriors. They complete reading Atlas Shrugged and Fountainhead in record number of days, they love standing up on the bench and singing Dhoom Pichak Dhum and toothpicks have more to do with mental calculation rather than dental complications. (Desperate attempt at rhyming)

Jesus Youth

Yes! Aaj lassi milega! #Fasting days

A Family that was there with us irrespective of the city we were in; Ahmedabad, Bangalore, Delhi, Jodhpur, Kerala. And with the number of JY events that you have already attended, you are equipped enough to take 1-2 sessions on Gods' Love. It would be impossible to take the names of everyone, but DTP 2012, The Teens and the Campus ministry, TTP Faithquest, the music ministry and the Tuesday night practices, the prayers and support during difficult times, will always remain close to our hearts.

Food

Random Pic from the internet

Mirzapur me Famous ke Samose Kabab – Shriji Krupa ka Butter Vada Pav – Manek Chowk ka Ice Cream Cheese sandwich and Gwalior Dosa – Honest ki Bhaji Pav – Swati ka Thin crust pizza – Havmor ka club sandwich – Jail ke bhajiya – Gandhi Soda shop ka masala soda – Nagar ka Cholafali – Dabeli – Pathra – Uttarayan ka Undhiyu Jalebi – Simran ka Tandoori – Lucky ka chai – Roothraj ka maska bun – Pani Puri – Gola – Fafda ane papaya ni cheen – Shambus Cold Cocoa and Monacco Toppings – CEPT wali gali ki maggi – Rajwadu ki thali – Poori aamras – Mulakka ki biriyani – Bhatiyar Gali – LD ki canteen – Shiv Shakti ki Daal Baati - Khaman - Dhokla - Khandvi - Sukhdi - Mohanthal

Do I need to say more?

PS. Woh thoda ‘’ka’’ and ‘’ki’’ me locha hai. Maafi

Home

120 Sarvodaynagar - 3, Ghatlodia, Ahmedabad 380061

20 years of my life I have stayed in this house. I don’t care if the water logs in front of the house, I don’t care if it had an Indian styled closet, I don’t care if our refrigerator, washing Machine and TV are much older than me; It’s still our house. And today, as appapan ammama leave that house, I have realized that what made that house complete was not those commodities, but the people in that house. I might sound arrogant or too filmy, but I am super proud of the family that I am a part of. Hundreds of people have walked into that house and I can assure you that none of them have gone empty stomach and without a smile. I remember how much efforts your ammama would make to prepare lunch/dinner when some guests are to come. Appapan would clean the meat and prepare his special salad with the rose made out of tomato peel. Your amma would be in charge of cleaning the room and making sure that I don’t make it dirty again. And I would be the procurement guy, getting things from the shop at the last minute. And when I look back it, it is the preparations that actually make the time spent with the guests more worthwhile. Even in the last 2 weeks, the amount of houses that your appapan ammama have managed to visit and the people who have come to visit them is incredible. It just shows that even if appapan says that Kerala is better and Khaman is a stupid thing, deep down, he knows that Ahmedabad ki baat hi kuch aur hai.

I can keep on giving you reasons; Loyola evening school, YMCA Carol Singing competition and Friends in Christ, Midnight masses at Loyola, Sessions at AMA, Onam celebrations at Panicker auntys' house, Ahmedabad Kerala Samajam, MACAF, Snehadeepam. But, all that I want to say is that this city has shaped us. And we are happy about the way it has shaped us. It has given us tons of memories and calories. And even if you wish to or not, a bit of Gujju-ness has already entered your system. The next time we go to Ahmedabad, we might not have a house there, but we sure do have a home.

Regards

Your Gujju Mama

PS. If people say Bangalore has shawarma, don't argue with them. They might be right.

My Mother, Your Mother

Dear Mishi

People say that mothers are incomparable and you shouldn't compare them with anyone. Your friends’ mother might prepare pasta in fancy creamy white sauce while your mother uses gravy from the leftover chicken curry and give it a desi tadka. Some other aunty might be super active on Instagram and slaying it with her posts while your mom might not even have an account on Instagram. (Trust me, you should be happy that she isn’t :P) And today of all days, where everyone is expressing how their moms are superwomen and the amazing role models they have been to them, I do not wish talk about my mother; I want to talk about yours. Because your mother deserves all the love in the world. And I can’t start to describe how proud I am of her.

When I come to visit you in Bangalore, I remember the nights where she gives me the “task” to put you to sleep. And you being the super active kid you are, you would be up till late. So I would keep playing with you and clicking pictures on my phone for social media acceptance. And at that one point when you seem tired, I try to put you to sleep. I would sing songs and tap your back. And at that very moment when the feeling of successfully putting you to sleep tip toes in my mind, you’ll start to cry and your mom would get up from her “sleep” and take you away from me while giving me the Tumse na ho payega look. And the next morning when I get up, she would have already prepared breakfast (Mallus have a heavy breakfast!), packed her lunchbox for office and packed your tiffin for school. She would be at work, but will still keep a tab on what you did during the therapy sessions, what all did you eat and when all did you poop. In between all this as a mother, she also plays the role of a daughter and makes the customary calls to Appapan-Ammama every day. Not to forget managing the household with her income, doing the everyday chores, completing the paperwork and other formalities after Appa’s demise, maintaining a connect with all our relatives and friends, planning for Appapans retirement and 60th birthday and managing your nakhras day in and day out.

And some might say that this is something that every mother does, and they are not wrong. But what makes your mother so special is she is doing it single handedly. Even if I want to be there with her, I am unable to. A part of me is so helpless, but another part of me is so proud of the woman she is. And this is a feeling shared by Appapan-Ammama too. And deep down, there is this faith that the courage and commitment that your mother possesses, will just keep growing. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have her lows. Amma cries, Amma gets angry, Amma shouts, Amma gets tired. But Amma gets up every morning with a bag on her shoulder, you by her side and a fire in her soul to fight one day at a time. So today, as the world celebrates motherhood, be glad that you have such an amazing person playing this role in your life.

Also, eat your food on time, sleep on time, do not pee on the bed, wear your aid regularly and keep smiling! And dont forget to stay cool like your mama 

;)

Loads of Love
Jenson Mama

PS. Mummy, I love you too! :)

The First One

Dear Mishi

Cherish this first passport size photograph of yours; because as you grow older, you'll look all the more champu in these photographs.

Regards
Your Forever Champu Mama